Abbie Garretson

Special Projects

Getting Covid For The Fifth Time: The Queer Experience Is Bio Hacking Me

I am a good upstanding american. I get my vaccines, I voted in that super awesome and cool election, sometimes me and my friends even like to pray when we get drunk. So tell me why last week I got covid for the fifth fucking time last week since 2022! Where am I going wrong, who have I double crossed? There is only one obvious explanation: it's the queer agenda.

Mutual Aid: Locking All BU Bisexual Twinks in my Bay State Basement

There is an epidemic on this campus. And that epidemic is bisexual twinks. They are walking around this campus with slutty waists, cunty outfits, and an unmatched audacity. They’re manipulating men and women alike. Someone must take care of them or they will run the city of Boston.