Scrub mommy: Cleaning My Apartment Bathroom Topless

ā̶͖̮̯̙̦̻̬̜͇͕̀̽̓̏̈́̏̓̄n̵̬̔̐o̷̱̯̳͔̱̒͗̇̇ͅn̸̛̤̰̈́̓̒̓͊̈͆̏͠y̸̨̢̰̠̳̝͚͈̙͉̒̀̑̔͆̅̏͝m̶̤̾̒̈́͆͋̈o̶̡̨̘̺̘̣̎͐̀̈̕͜͠u̸̬̬͈̺̩̺͎̐̃ś̴̛̛͖̺̠̼͎͛͒͐͌͆̚

There are many mixed emotions as I go into my last semester of undergrad this Spring. I think about all I’ve accomplished, all the friends I’ve made, and all the challenges I’ve faced. And of course, it also makes me think about my post-college plans. Right now, it’s been 100% graduate school. But there are always other options.

According to tiktok.gov, I heard topless maids make a lot of money, so I tried to practice a few weeks ago without an audience. Just my free labor. I was inspired by the women I saw on tiktok giving a rundown of their day in the life as topless maids and explaining how much money these lonely men give them.

Our apartment bathroom needed some cleaning, and if I was gonna get down and dirty, it obviously made the most sense to do it with my clothes off. The main reason I found myself topless and cleaning my bathroom was to avoid getting my clothes dirty and then having to do more laundry. Tits out saves on the water bill. So not only am I cleaning the apartment, I am reversing climate change. I have three roommates and unfortunately for them, they did not get to witness. I understand the hard work it takes to clean topless let alone with an audience.

And off I went. I scrubbed that countertop, getting in all the right spots and making sure that sink would spray and drain when I finished. I was on my knees until they were bruised,  scrubbing our dirty grimy floor. And you bet at some points I was on all fours. I disinfected the toilet so people (me) can recreate their favorite chair dance when they’re taking their coffee shits.

And voila, our bathroom was brand-assclapping-new. Topless maids really show how people with knockers can do anything, but they do it even better with their nips almost touching the toilet bowl. So if anyone wants a scrub mommy in their life, I say pitch the idea to them and let them know how eroti- empowering it would be.