The trend of adorning cakes with printed out images of characters and people alike has gone viral. People are sharing their ideas of what their “hear-me-outs” are to see who else shares in their particular fantasy (don’t lie, we’ve all thought about how hot Spirit the Horse was at least one in out life). To honor that, I’d like to give my version of my top 10 strangest cake toppers in an increasing order of atrociousness.
- Gill from Finding Nemo: There is no explanation needed for this one. He’s almost not even a hear-me-out. If you look up “sexy fish from nemo,” he comes out!
- Easter Bunny from Rise of the Guardian: He kinda had chemistry with Jack Frost in the movie, so I feel like we’d have a whole bi4bi thing going on.
- Progressive Box from the Progressive commercials: I’m a sucker for funny guys, but I fear he would use me for stand up material and dump me like all the other insurance boxes I’ve dated.
- Colgate 360º Toothbrush: He just… commands the space. This angle especially had me feeling some type of way (I wish to be that pink brush so badly).
- Closet from Barbie life in the Dreamhouse: He’d help me stay stylish while also using that hand to fulfill my needs.
- Jack in the Box: His whole vibe screams sugar daddy. He’s rich and his food is great pre-, during, and post-drunk food. What more can a girl ask for? And those arms are yum!
- Nick Wilde, but specifically from the Zootopia abortion comic: I’ll just leave this here.
- My roommate’s sequin Steve Buscemi pillow: Again, I’ll just leave this one to marinate here.
- The math equation 7x3=21: Something about it just feels right. Like, the equation would know how to treat me like the boss bitch I am without feeling threatened by my success.
7 x 3 = 21
- Pedro Pascal: I know no one else in the world agrees with this one, so I suppose he’s my own person hear-me-out.
