Hi, I’m Doran Steinfeld. I’ve been known to have a couple of issues in my life. My friend Olga Syphil, having “Among Us thumbs,” and unfortunately, also having a fucked up immune system that cannot properly digest gluten. Now, what is gluten you may ask? Well, gluten is a protein that is found in things like barley, rye, and wheat (to name a few). While this condition, known as Celiac Disease, has become more well known over time, we are still an underrepresented minority in a world where tyrannical immunotypical bigots reign supreme. So, I’d like to pose you a question. You hear about homophobic celebrities all the time - what about celiphobic celebrities? Let’s talk about them.
- Taylor Swift.
Yep. I know what you’re thinking. You’re going to go after the swifties?! Yes, I literally don’t gaf. Not only has this woman posed sillily with her head cutesy peaking into the frame, effectively mocking and teasing those of us that cannot have the fortune to do what she is doing, but she has also had her face and name mowed into an entire wheat field. Truly one of the biggest of all bosses. I don’t care if that maybe isn’t wheat in the photo of her or if she didn’t mow herself in the drone shot, it’s still connecting her to wheat, and she definitely did not do anything to try and distance herself from this negative and insulting imagery.
- Selena Gomez
Don’t know much about her, sorry, and kinda don’t really care. Here’s her in wheat, mocking us by showing us how free she is being able to eat gluten, knowing that we can never experience her freedom.
- Charli xcx
The girl that made me write this article. This truly broke my heart, as a known prolific twink. This is the most clear as day photo of a celebrity posing in a wheat field. I vividly remember her posting these photos on her story with the text “lol,” further insulting and making light of a very serious situation. Add in the fact that her arms are open, trying to invite us into a place that can kill me, and it just adds insult to injury. Do better, Charli.
- AI Beyoncé
I don’t care if it’s AI. If the pathetic rumors that the toxic men spread around about her are true, Beyoncé KNOW(le)S, so she should stand up for her fans with celiac disease and squash the possible rumors that she gets along with wheat. Use that conspiracy power to kill whoever made that horrid photo!
- Helen Mirren
She may have been mother in Barbie, but she is no mother to the Celiacs. Here she plays with the wheat in her hands, toying with us, as if we’re kids in a playground and she has more toys than us. She could share, but that would be like sharing your knife with a 5 year old because of toy equality. It’s not fair, and it’s offensive.
- Curtis Stone
To be honest, I have no clue who he is. But, according to this article, he is a celebrity chef! Look, I don’t care if you cook, and so you decided to pose in a wheat field to show how skilled you are with creating dishes out of raw ingredients. By posing in front of a wheat field, you imply that you have to use wheat to create sensational meals, which is just plain wrong and hurtful to the Celiac community, as it implies that there is only one way to eat and live in life. Maybe he should venture out to more kinds of foods, it would strengthen his chef abilities.
- Sonya Katarina
Of all the people on here, this one disappointed me the most. I have been one of her 4k-ish followers for ages now, and to see her pose in this wheat field on Instagram really made me upset. To make matters worse, a fan commented on her post “#ilivefreed.” Once again going back to the dangerous rhetoric that people living with Celiac Disease are imprisoned, and not as capable or “free” as others due to the fact that they cannot pose in wheat fields like Instagram influencer Sonya.
- David Rose from Schitt’s Creek
Yeah, yeah, it’s grass, but change the colors a bit and some of the shapes, and it looks EXACTLY like wheat. For the Levy family to depict a situation as serious as this and play it for laughs… Really hurtful and dangerous for people like me, and truly not what this world needs right now. Plus, add in the “cool” posture and outfit that David is in, and it just makes things even more horrible. It implies that being in and having wheat is the “cool” way to live, and that anyone who can’t isn’t cool like him. Disgusting.
I hope that this article was educational and informative to those who were unaware about the severity of the situation. To tell the truth, I wasn’t sure about this article originally, but a few weeks ago the heads of Pinky Toe told us that we could be more political with our articles, and it gave me the confidence I needed to finally bring these dangerous truths to the light. I hope you all have benefited from this, and if you learn one thing, please let it be the following: STOP POSING IN WHEAT FIELDS!