Sometimes I spot a beautiful butch lesbian and I get tunnel vision. And then my tunnel vision clears and that beautiful butch lesbian turns out to be a mid ass femme.
It really needs to be said. Why are you femme when your face is butch?????
In this day and age, there’s a ton of discourse on the masc/butch lesbian shortage. I am here to enlighten you all to the fact that this is literal propaganda on behalf of the femme-with-butch-face community.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Jaclyn, shouldn’t people be allowed to express themselves how they please?”
The answer is NO. In the words of one Sue Sylvester, “You know, only one person in the world can tell you what you are. ME.” She was talking about me here.
This is why I will be launching my newest nonprofit organization that… well it’s a conversion therapy of sorts let's be honest. I will be taking in femmes who should be butch and they will be forcibly given new haircuts (choice between mullets, buzzcut, and bleached buzz cut), new clothes, and best of all is their butch shock bolo tie. They will then be put through a series of conditioning exercises where each time they do something femme their bolo tie shocks them!
Conditioning exercises include but are not limited to: placing patients in a room full of nail polish for 24 hours (shocks administered for each nail polish they test :p), burning all of their panties in front of them (each tear they shed the voltage gets turned up! :D), and there is even an opportunity for positive reinforcement! We give them all 10 new pairs of boxers and each week we hold an arm wrestling match and the winner gets a free coupon for entrance to a rock climbing gym. Losers get solitary confinement for the week #ripbozo.
I believe that through this course of action not only will we heal the so-called masc lesbian shortage, but we will end homophobia altogether!
Be a part of the movement. With a small donation of $200, we can buy one soon-to-be butch lesbian their first shock bolo tie ;). It also makes for a great tax write-off!
JOIN OR DIE.