No, You Aren’t Delusional, This City Really is Poisoning You

Dearest Beloved,

I write to you from my full-sized bed in the apartment that I’m subletting from my friend who’s abroad, with shitty heating and a lightbulb in the bathroom in need of changing.

  I am dying.

As another week passes by in this gloomy, Gotham-like city, I regret to inform you that this current bout of sickness may be the one I finally succumb to. But before I go, please hear me: This was no mistake. This was a purposeful infection. A poisoning of sorts. No, a poisoning indeed.

They want to be rid of me, this city of Boston. Me, and you, and the scooter riders, and the Allston dwellers, and the Questrom nic fiends. All of us. The city is fighting back. And I should’ve known by the way the rats look at us; they are scanning for weaknesses. 

It’s the Citgo sign. I have recently discovered that what I once viewed as a beloved homing beacon is not at all what it seems.

I didn’t get COVID because some snot-nosed freshman coughed directly in my face at Splash 2.0, no no. And my bronchitis didn't come from my cold that went untreated. I got it because of my proximity to that damn sign. 

I mean, why else would it be there? What purpose does it serve, if not to trick innocent passersby into staring up at it? We were only warned about looking directly into the sun. But my dear, there is still time to turn the tide.

As I write this I feel it watching me, as if it is going to hoist itself off of the WHOOP building and grab me through my window as though I was the damsel in distress in the original King Kong movie. 

So please, spread the word. Don’t look at it when you are inevitably late to your 8 am. Don’t look at it when you are on a walk of shame battling the Sunday Scaries. And don’t look at it as you make a late-night trip to Bay State Underground. The Citgo sign is always watching. But we must stay vigilant.

Or I don’t know just wear your masks? I don’t know I’m on way too many different medications so maybe I’m just hallucinating the two large googly eyes on the once lifeless sign but I promise I’m not crazy please don’t institutionalize me.

-With love,

A girl who coughed so hard she almost threw up (mom come pick me up I’m scared)