I know it may come as a surprise given the topics of some of my previous articles, however, I am not a religious person. Yet, as evidenced by said previous articles, I can't help but bring the topic of religion into my writing. One might call it blasphemy, I call it being a little silly. But the phrase “let go and let god 🙏” has single-handedly cleared my skin, submitted my 8 missing assignments, and realigned my chakras.
I first stumbled upon this phrase last summer upon reading a tweet that would become scripture to live my life by: “you are not coquettish and you are not giving us a slight glamor. The three brandy melville tops you wear in rotation are shredding further with each machine wash and the most profound feeling you've ever had is worse-than-normal nicotine induced nausea in your trig class at 9 am. Larping as a thin beauty on instagram will not save you from a life of sucking dick through real tears to try and find your soul at the center of a cock tootsie pop. Let go and let God 🙏”
I was enlightened, dare I say revolutionized, by this statement. I realized I was harboring a lot of unnecessary anger and aggression. I should instead put my faith in the hands of the cosmos. I truly just need to let go and let god 🙏 and all will eventually work out in my favor.
Some skank takes your seat in lecture. Normally this would send me into a blind rage. I would mutter incantations in latin, putting a curse on their bloodline. But now I just let go and let god 🙏.
You walk into the dining hall and absolutely nothing there looks appetizing. The old me would’ve threatened to place a bomb in the warren towers round-grill station. But now I know to let go and let god 🙏, throw my hands up, surrender to the universe, and eat a protein bar whilst sulking in my room.
A man with a registry–face, viscerally horrifying porno stash, and an unwashed mullet stands directly in front of you at a Clairo concert, and then proceeds to only know the words to Amoeba. There’s no need to conjure up a plan to transform the aluminum from his local microbrewery sour beer can into a shiv to stab him with. Just let go and let god🙏.
I know that in the end divine retribution will be on my side. Anyone who has wronged me will spend an eternity in the fiery pits of hell, suffering and begging for forgiveness. This will prove futile, none being found, as their tears drop from their fat little cheeks and sizzle upon impact of the hot, wretched, ground that they now call home. Their sinful souls are beyond salvation and they will know neither peace nor pain, only the endless cold of emptiness forever. Judgment day has come and gone. The time for repentance is over. Oblivion awaits.