As the winter months have approached and started to wrap its gnarly fingers around the throat of BU, most people do the sensible thing and start to bundle up. They add a jacket, perhaps a hat or two, and bulk up on gloves. Unfortunately for sapphics everywhere, the increasingly cold temperatures are making it harder and harder to distinguish a total babe from just another student walking around.
First it was the rings. Then it was the nose piercings. And now, it’s getting to the point where it’s almost impossible to tell the difference. This is a plea to straight girls everywhere. Please, stop co-opting queer fashion staples. And I know what some of you are thinking. “Stereotypes are bad, people can wear what they want,” blah blah blah. There’s no shame in admitting that queer people tend to analyze people’s looks to determine if they’re “one of them.” I’ve done it, you’ve done it, even your local barista’s done it.
Although this phenomenon is growing more apparent with every passing winter, I do have some tips that can help you in identifying our beloved mascs.
Number One: Make a disturbing amount of eye contact. If she’s gay, she’ll hold your gaze strong. This action may result in negative consequences however, as the strength of your eye contact could make someone cower due to the pure power of it.
Number Two: Look for the manspread. If she’s not afraid to take up space, she might have homosexual tendencies. This one is definitely not foolproof though, and might get you in a tad bit of trouble if you’re not careful.
And Number Three: Probably the most efficient way to tell, although definitely the most ego-bruising (from personal experience). Start hitting on her. You will find out very quickly whether she bats for the same team as you. And hey, even if not, at least you put yourself out there! That has to count for something, right? Right?
Ultimately, the question still lingers. Are these girls sprawling over campus all masc lesbians? Or are they protecting themselves from the bitter chill of the February wind? We as a community must figure this out before it’s too late.