I support women’s wrongs, but damn girl! Time and place!
We women share many traits with the female dog. The ability to breastfeed, being identified using the derogatory term “bitch”, and the ability to be spayed. And while we can’t go around forcing horny women to have them all willy-nilly like they were lobotomies, I think we should be able to recommend them.
Sabrina Carpenter. I choose you.
Now I’m a firm believer in the sexual liberation movement but I truly believe that Ms. Carpenter telling the whole world just how horny women truly get is ruining things for the rest of us. Like. Juno? Really? I thought ovulation was our little secret, like the monthly demonic sacrifices :(
Is spaying a little extreme? Well yes! But I think drastic times call for drastic measures, and I think she needs some serious procedure to balance out her hormones and cease her smut, I mean, lyrics, once and for all.
Beyond that, who knows what she’s doing to poor Barry! Like I know the action in the sheets is exciting but between all the sucking and fucking a man needs to see the sunlight. Who knew that one lyric about the ceiling fan wasn’t a joke…
But would removing her ovaries, fallopian tubes, and uterus really do anything? Is that level of horny not innate? Am I really going to stop the woman known for her good bangs from actually getting a good bang? Can we truly change who that 5-foot-blonde white woman is at her core? Does she want to change? Do we even actually want her to?
Maybe this era will be short and sweet. Maybe, we really can’t blame a girl (for trying). Maybe we need to embrace her horniness with eyes wide open, and expect that she might be twiddling them thumbs in more than one way.
Dare I try and police what a woman does with her body? I might have overstepped. Or maybe the former Disney star’s supposed libido is a twisted mix of admirable and problematic.
But Sabrina, I beg you, please please please seek a different outlet for your sexcapades that doesn’t involve public radio stations. I don’t want to have to explain your short-lived fling with the trans alien to anyone anymore.