I like to run a tight ship in my Allston abode; just four girls, two floors, one fridge. But one of these things is not like the other. Because my house isn’t just an overpriced apartment, it's a lesbian frat house. That is with one major, glaring exception.
My one straight roommate lives on the very top floor. I respect that about her, you know, keeping that lifestyle away from the kids. She isn’t home very often either, which I also respect. Not sure what exactly those people get up to though… I guess she’s very busy holding hands with men or loving Sabrina Carpenter or some shit? I don’t know. Either way I only ever see her in flashes; brief glimpses of how the other half lives.
What would she have said if she came home during our Heartstopper watch party? Our But i'm a Cheerleader movie night? Shit those were both this week that’s a little on the nose. But maybe she would have found their friendship really beautiful, just girls supporting each other! <3. If only she had been home when we watched masterpiece, “What if Being Gay Was Normal and Straight Was a Minority,” ifyky. Do straight people even watch youtube short films?
The other night my normal (gay) roommate put up a billboard of Renee Rap in our living room. I don’t even like that cunt (my consensus; sexy but annoying) and yet it brought a sense of warmth to the space. Just the grace of a set of 4x4 foot tall gay-by blues staring down at me. But should we let my straight roommate hang her own decor? Who’s even a straight celebrity these days? Chet Hanks? Who’s the bachelor this season?
And what if she was there for our pre games? She once asked me if someone was “gay or just frumpy” at a party. Which, not gonna lie, stung, but, upon examination is a valid question. Cause why am I wearing a shirt 3 sizes too big to the frat? Do gay people have a goddamn scarcity mindset for clothing size? You can look dykey in a crop top. I promise it will be ok.
Perhaps I imagine that she’s more tapped into my culture than she really is. Because when I came home to find her making out with someone on the couch, It wasn’t a girl. He just needed a haircut. And maybe, that’s ok #straightally