It's been a long road, heterosexual gentlemen. In the fight for gender equality, it's taken ages and ages to even reach this glass ceiling. Years of reading feminist literature at coffee shops and wearing tote bags. But do not worry gents, we’ve finally made a large, dare I say, gargantuan step in the fight for progress. Doesn’t it feel that after going to women’s rights marches, crossing the street to avoid walking behind a woman, or getting upset over the price of feminine hygiene products (it should be free 😔), it's about time we got some representation in the Pinky Toe?
But we must not stop dreaming, straight cis reader. We must continue to unite and make sure our voices are heard (not over women though). We are needed in this battle against the terrible, horrible patriarchy. We need more straight men to tell everyone not to take space from women! If we don’t, who will? Who’s gonna tell periods to stop it when they hurt? Or explain sports in a “non-condescending” way? I say to you, my faithful feminist straight he/hims reading this, put on those thrifted double-knee Carhartts, put on some of your favorite tunes like Laufey or Clairo (it's ok, you can admit you like them), and step out with hope in your heart. Hope that times are finally changing, hope that you will be represented, and that we too can finally change the narrative that nice guys finish last.
I also have a message for the women and non-binary readers. I, a straight men, recognize that I occupy the space inhabited and cared for by women, non-binary, and non-heterosexual men on behalf of us straights. I acknowledge and see the impact this has on others in society, and I stand on the shoulders of hilarious marginalized people, and hope that we can prove straight guys can do satire too. I acknowledge the healing necessary from men claiming they can play guitar or the Cuh Dey Board guy on Tik Tok. This acknowledgment comes with a commitment to arguing with other men about abortion, not using our women and LGBTQ friends to claim we’re not problematic, and to not mansplain (unless we know we’re right but it's not because we think you’re less intelligent).