The Runway – HELLO divas! I know this new semester has been a little overwhelming for all you young queens.
Like when you thought the “Jungle Juice” they had at the parties was actually poppers.
Or when you accidentally found your TA on Grindr during lecture. (Remember: Double your age plus seven you dirty dogs.)
Regardless of those problems, we’re now approaching registration season for next semester and there’s a new class that I think some of you soon-to-be oil barons (or baroness if we wanna get liberal with it) would be interested in taking.
Have you ever realized how much devastation we’ve caused for the earth and just thought: “Nah, it would be boots AND tea if we did worse”? Well let me introduce you to “Fracking 101” Taught by the one and only: Rupaul Charles!
When offered to explain the format of his new classes, Charles stated: “This class will have the exact rules and regulations as my TV show Rupaul’s Drag Race, except the loser of each week's lip sync will be sacrificed to the oil gods to ensure my profits stay in the green.
* Manic Rupaul Cackle *”
Charles also stated some responsibilities on the syllabus will include:
- Cheering when Rupaul walks into the room like they do on every single episode.
- Ripping off your wig/hair (I’m looking at you Lyle Menendez)
- Serving CUNT in the classroom some text
- Compliance with the rules and regulations of the oil industry
- Understanding the importance of queer-owned fracking farms
- Networking at all of the required circuit parties (Dates TBD)
- Thinking of better ways to make Rupaul YOU more money!
Hopefully we will see you this spring semester and remember:
“May the best fracker… WIN!”